When “Saturday Night Live” star Marcello Hernandez took the stage at the David H. Koch Theater in New York City on July 15, the 28-year-old comedian made it clear that no sports figure was beyond the reach of his comedy — not even Tiger Woods. The golfer’s March DUI arrest became the centerpiece of one of the evening’s most talked-about jokes during Hernandez’s 10-minute monologue at the 2026 ESPYs, leaving some laughing and others wincing at the boldness of the material.
After congratulating Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams on landing the cover of the next “Madden” video game, Hernandez delivered the blow: “Congratulations to Caleb — and Tiger Woods will be on the cover of ‘Grand Theft Auto,'” Hernandez said. The line was an unmistakable reference to the rollover car crash in Jupiter Island, Florida, that landed Woods in handcuffs earlier this year. Following the joke, Hernandez seemed almost apologetic, telling the audience filled with sports luminaries that he loved Woods and was a big fan, but the line was simply written too well to pass up.
The Arrest That Became a Punchline
Woods, 50, was taken into custody on March 27, facing charges of driving under the influence with property damage and refusing to submit to a lawful test. His SUV clipped a trailer and overturned, and authorities said the five-time Masters winner crawled from the wreckage; neither he nor the truck driver was injured. Woods agreed to a breathalyzer, which showed no alcohol in his system, but declined a urine test used to detect drugs or medication. Bodycam footage released weeks later showed him kneeling beside the roadway, telling a deputy, “I looked down at my phone, and all of a sudden — boom.”
The incident echoed a near-fatal rollover crash in 2021 that left Woods with life-altering injuries to his right leg. He later pleaded not guilty and stepped away from competition to seek help. “I am stepping away for a period of time to seek treatment and focus on my health,” Woods wrote in a statement posted on social media, adding that he needed to prioritize his well-being and asking for privacy for his family and himself. He completed a rehabilitation stint in Switzerland and checked out of that center June 12. A source described the original plan as a three-month program, saying it should stay on target unless something major changed. The legal and personal strain, the source added, has weighed heavily on him.
A Monologue That Spared No One
The Woods joke landed the biggest reaction during Hernandez’s hosting gig, but it was far from his only target. Boxer Jake Paul, New York Knicks guard Jalen Brunson, coach Bill Belichick, and the WNBA all found themselves in the comedian’s crosshairs. Paul was among the first targets, and the crowd caught him on camera laughing and applauding as Hernandez ribbed him about a habit of fighting older opponents.
“Jake, that’s just a joke. Don’t fight me. My dad and my stepdad are here and they’re both over 50 and I know that’s how you like ’em,” Hernandez told Paul, before the broadcast cut to his father and stepfather seated in the audience. He also jabbed at the age gap between Belichick, now 74 and coaching at North Carolina, and girlfriend Jordon Hudson. “In 1973, hockey players didn’t wear helmets. Basketball had no three-point line,” Hernandez said. “And in 1973, Bill Belichick was the age his girlfriend is now.” Even last year’s host, comedian Shane Gillis, drew a mention; Hernandez pictured Gillis enjoying the show from his couch with a beer while, as he put it, a Hispanic guy did his job.
An Uncertain Road Ahead
Woods is due back in court for a status hearing on August 4. His competitive future, meanwhile, remains uncertain. The fallout has reshaped Woods’ season. He was absent from the U.S. Open at Shinnecock Hills and the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale. In May, USGA CEO Mike Whan indicated he didn’t anticipate Woods appearing in any USGA championship events this year, framing the situation as far bigger than golf.
His image still appears on promotional material for the Baycurrent Classic in Japan, an October event, and the Hero World Challenge in December has been floated as a plausible landing spot for a return. Neither has been confirmed as a comeback.
For one night, though, the golfer’s troubles served as material rather than sympathy. Hernandez, in his first crack at the ESPYs stage, treated no legend as off-limits — and the room, for the most part, laughed along.
