Since leaving the presidency in 2017, former President Obama has openly discussed the impact his time in office had on his marriage to Michelle Obama. In a recent discussion with Hamilton College President Steven Tepper on April 3, 2025, Obama revealed he accumulated a “deep deficit” with Michelle during his two terms.
“I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things,” Obama stated, emphasizing the effort needed to sustain their 32-year-long marriage.
The Obamas, who married in 1992, encountered unique challenges while balancing the upbringing of their daughters, Malia and Sasha, and the rigorous demands of the presidency. Upon winning the 2008 election and relocating to the White House, their daughters were aged 10 and seven, respectively.
Michelle Obama has also been transparent about the difficult times in their marriage. In a previous interview with Revolt TV, she stated, “People think I’m being catty by saying this — it’s like, there were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband. And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.”
This level of transparency from a former first couple resonates with many Americans who face similar relationship struggles. The Obamas have consistently highlighted that marriage requires ongoing effort, particularly during periods of stress or imbalance.
Michelle has talked about how their relationship was often “uneven,” as she took on more childcare responsibilities while Barack pursued his political career. Despite these challenges, both have stressed the importance of commitment during tough times.
In a 2024 appearance on “The Pivot Podcast,” Barack Obama credited Michelle with helping him cope with the pressures of his presidency. He acknowledged her as an extraordinary partner who helped him focus. He mentioned that disappointing his children was unthinkable.
The couple’s openness about their marital challenges comes amid persistent, unfounded rumors about potential issues. They have consistently shown their commitment to each other through public affection and mutual respect.
This past Valentine’s Day, Barack shared a selfie with Michelle on social media with the caption: “Thirty-two years together and you still take my breath away. Happy Valentine’s Day, @MichelleObama!”
Sources close to the couple suggest they do not portray their relationship as “magical” but as a genuine partnership requiring effort. Michelle reportedly shows little interest in attending Washington D.C. events with Barack, focusing instead on their post-White House life and personal projects.
The Obamas have established a post-presidential life that includes various initiatives through their Obama Foundation and the construction of the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago, Illinois. They remained in Washington D.C. until Sasha finished high school, with Malia later attending Harvard University.
Barack Obama’s acknowledgment of his “deficit” and efforts to improve the situation demonstrate the couple’s commitment to growth and adaptation in their relationship. For many Americans, the Obamas’ willingness to discuss relationship challenges humanizes a couple that was often seen as ideal during their White House years.
Michelle has previously shared that they sought marriage counseling to work through difficult times, further normalizing the idea that even strong marriages benefit from professional support during challenging periods.
As the Obamas enter their fourth decade together, their relationship evolves. Their public acknowledgment of the difficulties they faced while maintaining their commitment to each other provides a realistic picture of a long-term partnership, resonating with many Americans navigating their own relationships.
The former first couple’s transparency about their marriage differs from the often idealized public images of political figures. Acknowledging that even high-profile relationships face significant challenges, the Obamas have contributed to a more realistic discussion about the effort required to sustain long-term relationships.
As they move beyond their White House years, the Obamas balance their individual pursuits with their shared commitment to each other and their family, illustrating that marriage—like hope and change—requires ongoing effort and renewal.
